Sept 18, 2017
oil on panel, 8"x8"
Available for reservations.
Today I have for you a painting of me on a Monday morning.
I'm terrified of self-portraits, which is why I rarely paint them. I'm also terrified of painting faces.
I'm using this challenge to get out of my comfort zone, if this painting style doesn't already have me doing that. So, here is a gift to you and to me.
This painting was painted in 2 hours this Monday morning. I woke up groggy and a little bit over-confident in my abilities to paint a full piece of work including many different colors and objects. As I continued along with my strokes and color choices, I quickly realized that I was running out of time and panicked.
I needed more time and I needed coffee.
I finished this painting immediately feeling overwhelmed and distracted by the thick brush strokes and my dissatisfaction with how my face and look shaped up. If you don't know me very well, I constantly battle in an internal fight with myself on how I look, what I'm wearing to the next event, and I get caught up in tiny details that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. I feel like this has become engrained in me since I was little, even though I really don't put too much effort into my style and look every day (I pride myself on being the queen of getting ready and out the door in 5 minutes). Especially as I get ready to walk down the aisle, I constantly am asked about my workout regime, what lipstick hue I decide to rock on the big day, how I want to style my hair the morning of, whether I'm cutting out carbs from my diet...
You know what? It's a pile of bu** sh** and don't believe any of it.
Today, I am wearing my sports pants, black oversized shirt, I am snacking on some delicious lactose free cookies (dietary constraint no more!) and I will be attending a kickass workout class this evening because of the sole reason of "it makes me feel awesome" Gone are the days of impressing people who really don't care and forget how your hair is styled 2 minutes after they look at it.
A good way to look at it: love every bit of yourself even if you painted a self-portrait with your eyes closed, upside down, in the pool, eating a PBJ sandwich and it was exposed on the front steps of the New York Met.
In the end and after taking a step back from this painting, I'm really happy with how it turned out: it's awkward, confusing and a bit hilarious in style. It brings out my "I don't give a crap" personality in full effect, and j'adore it. It borderlines the cartoon space of delight, pulling the viewer back into an impasto impressionism style that leaves one wondering of the story behind the visage. I seek to pull the viewer into the experience of what is being painted rather than what is physically sought after.
This is my life's motto, after all.
Happy Monday! I hope everyone is having a bomb day so far. If not, go give someone a hug, it really turns your day into a merry-go-round.