Sept 19, 2017
oil on panel, 8"x8"
Available for reservations.
oday I am crossing the city to go get a wax.
Favorite activity? Nope. But the salon smells super nice and I get to go to Target to treat myself to a cute smelling candle afterward, so it could be much worse.
Reason why getting a wax is not necessarily my favorite activity?
It reminds me of the story of my thighs.
Growing up, I was always told by friends and family that I was too pale (latino stereotypes in Southern California for the win), too short, too hairy (yeah, gross), too pasty, and that I had big thighs. As an 8-18 year old growing up in Southern California with a crazy childhood, it would be no surprise that this really got to me. As a 15 year old even, I was constantly watching what I ate, how much I ate, and when I ate. Ballet didn't help this sort of addiction either (I specifically remember the story of being disciplined by my teacher to stop eating Cheetos and to eat an apple instead to help keep my weight down), and neither did the body slamming of the LA culture (when you're young, you don't realize that "the perfect body" is a load of bull crap).
Yeah, this is heavy and uncomfortable stuff to share, especially since many people don't know this about me. But, I paint honestly, respectfully and vulnerably. So, I'll continue.
As I grew older, I went through crap with my body. I realized what unnecessary shaming I put my own self through. I fought with my mind and body constantly to get out of the "oh my gosh if I eat a slice of pizza I will juice fast tomorrow" mentality. I worked hard to get where I am today, to eat what is healthy for me, to love my somewhat pear-shaped body, to not have to explain my skin tone to anyone who asks "do you really speak Spanish?", to be ok with having larger hips than most white women around me, to want to get a wax to feel clean instead of to impress, and to know that I don't have to work out for hours just to shed a pound or two more.
Body love not body shaming, ladies. Am I right?
But, it's hard to just forget about what I used to think about myself and what I put my body through. I'd say most women have dealt with this based on the conversations we've shared. Women specifically really know how to hate themselves and what they look like, and it's so easy to get back to those thoughts and actions.
Hence, the story of my thighs is bittersweet for me now - it reminds me of who I was and who I want to be as a strong woman for myself and for others.
As you prepare to get a wax, try on some swimsuits, get a spray tan, or go wedding dress shopping (I wish I could share more about this on public forum but I can't since Jose doesn't want to know a thing about my dress. More on this later.), remember this:
YOU ARE PERFECT & our thighs are one of the strongest muscles in our bodies. Let's learn to partner with our thighs to become a strong force together.
Ok, that was beautiful. And this is exactly what I thought about during the 2 hours of painting this beauty this morning. I kept the strokes pasty and thick, incorporating some color highlights to make the viewing experience a bit more uncomfortable. I rarely paint with such bright colors, so I'm excited to continue exploring this part of my talent as the challenge unfolds.
I hope this painting helps one of you readers out there. Much love to you all, and happy Tuesday!